Valentine Jokes

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Valentine Jokes

Why did the pig give his girlfriend a box of candy? It was Valenswine's Day!



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Jonny asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.
'Yes,'came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'
'That was very kind of you,'Jonny added,'I hope she appreciated the thought.'
Tony smiled as he replied,So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'




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Q. What did the boy bird say to the girl bird on Valentine's Day?
A. Let me call you Tweet heart!




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Valentine's day is only few days away............so remember it's not too late... break up and save money.....




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I said to you, "Oh, please be mine;
Be mine forever, Valentine."

I must have seemed like quite a fool,
Although I thought I was being cool.

I swore that we would never part,
As I put my hand upon my heart.

Had I been thinking with my head,
I'd probably have fled instead.




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Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.




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Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.




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Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!




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Love looks not with the eyes
but
with the mind and therefore is winged cupid painted blind




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if I could pull down the rainbow,
then I would write
my n my valentine's name on it
and put it back on its own place
so that the world could see
how colorful is our relation.




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I am opening an emotional bank account for u sweetheart,so deposit your love
in it and you will get the interest.




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Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.



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If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!



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Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear.




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Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed', guess who' ?
A: A divorce lawyer.




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If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention
to every word you say, talk in your sleep.




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Love so much my heart is sure.
As time goes on I love you more
Your happy smile.
Your loving face no one will ever
take your place.
Wish you a Happy Valentine's Day!




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Brand new mop and bucket.
I was thinking it would be
fun to see what colour the
floor was because I couldn't remember.




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I was thinking how proud she would be to be a part of the technology crowd.



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Darling, you seem to get more beautiful everyday
but I refuse to wear glasses!




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You're quite a catch!
But don't feel too bad
even good offers sometimes have a catch!




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Words fail me! Great body, sharp mind, sexy voice
and they're just a few of my good points!
Happy Valentine's!




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I found a card for you in time, I really did.
And it said exactly how I feel about you.
But it was so mushy the envelope went all soggy!




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What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
"I'm sweet on you"




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What is the difference between a girl who is sick
of her boyfriend and a sailor who falls into the ocean?
One is bored over a man the other is a man overboard.




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What kind of flowers do u never give on Valentine's Day?
Cauliflowers!




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What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day?
Owl be yours




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Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the
roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so
is ur head.




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Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with u, because I was pissed.




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I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met ur brother.




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