Adult Sms : Adult Text Messages

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Facebook Adult Status

Boy:what is that u keep in ur mouth
which is 6" long
and move it in and out
and wait for a white substance to come out?
Girl: why do u ask such question to me.
i cant tell such words
Boy:dont worry its tooth brush




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Girl:Its 2 tight
Boy:Dont worry,I'll do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I cant,
Gal:Its painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
Well buy new WEDDING RING!




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Two kids were lying on bed in same basket.
1st: I am boy and you?
2d: I don't know.
1st: wait I will see. He went into the blanket and said, you are a girl.
2nd: how did you know?
1st: because my socks are blue and your socks are pink.




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Wife: if I sleep with your most loving friend what would be the first thought coming to your mind?
Smart husband: that you are a lesbian




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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $$$ per minute.




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Kid: Dady k room se prayer ki awazein aa rhi theen
Mom:
Prayer krna to achi bat hai
Kid:
dady to chup thay unki secrtry chila rhi thee
"OH GOD, OH GOD"




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A young girl after her honeymoon
came fully exhausted and tired,
When her friends asked her what happened?
She replied :
When this 70 year old bastard told me
he has saved a lot from last 50 years,
"I thought It was MONEY"




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Husband Climbs the Bed Naked
Wife: I have Fever!
Husband: I know sweetheart that's why I have powdered my Stick with Crocin.
Now tell me how you wish to take it "Orally or as Injection"




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An Angery Engineer sent a not to his father in law About his wife.
"Your product is not meeting my Requirements"
. . Smart Father in law replied:
"Seal Broken, Manufacturer not Responsible"




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A young man asked swamiji
Why Girls desire more sex than boys?
SWAMIJI: When you put finger in your ear & shake it,
which feels better, your finger or ear?




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Son-Dad, what does 'gay' mean?
Father- It means 'to be happy'
.
.
.
Son-are you gay?
Father-No, Son
I have a wife....




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Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them.
Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged




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A man married lady traffic police.
Friend- How was your 1st night?
Man-she collected Rs.100 from me for overspeed.
Rs.200 for wrongside entry, Rs 500 for witout helmat.




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Newton's 7th law of
Motion.......
'When hand is in motion it produce
Lotion.




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Man came home,
Saw his Wife with his Friend in Bed.
He shoots his Friend.
Wife says, if you behave like this,

You will lose all ur friends.




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On their wedding night, both husband and wife were claiming virginity
Wife : ' If it was your first time, then how did u do so well?'
Husband : And if this was ur first time how did u know that I did so well?




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Statistics of breast milk.
1. No need to insert the sugar.
2. No need to boil it.
3. cats can not steal it.
4. its tax free.
5. It have no expiry date.
5. Available in beautiful packing.
6. buy one get one free.




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Why does a woman have two pair of lips?
One is for fighting and one is to make up




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Catch her by her waist
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
and have a
nice drink....PEPSI




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A beautiful girl goes to Professor cabin
and
say
that i will do anything to pass in the exams
and professor says
NOW OPEN YOUR
.
.
.
.
.
.
Books And Study




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A notice in a factory for girl workers.
If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work.
If it is short, protect yourself from men at work




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School mein bachay kay papa nay teacher say kahaa
Madam jee Thodee ap koshish karoo
thodee hum kartay hein
bachaa tou nikal hee jaye gaa...!




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Boy1: Meet my wife Tina
Boy2.Oh! I know her
Boy1: How?
Boy2: WE were caught sleeping together
Boy1: What the hell?
Boy2.during lecture in math's class.




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Bikini is a dress where 90% of the woman body is exposed..
But men r very well-mannered.
They don't look at that 90%
they look only at the covered 10%.




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