Funny Retirement Quotes

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Funny Retirement Quotes

The question isn't at what age I want to retire it's at what income.



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The money is no better in retirement but the hours are!



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It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.



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When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.



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A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age.



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I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy



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I've lit the blue touch paper and found there's nowhere to retire to.



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The great thing about show business is that there's no mandatory retirement age.



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One of the problems of retirement is that it gives you more time to read about the problems of retirement.



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Nothing ever comes out as planned.



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If you have the time, you won't have the money. If you have the money, you won't have the time.



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When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.



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When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.



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At my age flowers scare me.



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The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.



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Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to.



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Everyone who does not work has a scheme that does.



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He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.



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Retired is being tired twice I've thought first tired of working then tired of not.



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Retirement life seen it all done it all Can't remember most of it.



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When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house you know you are retired.



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When you retire you switch bosses from the one who hired you to the one who married you.



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Retirement at sixty five is ridiculous. When I was sixty five I still had pimples.



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Stay busy If you are going to sit on the couch and watch TV you are going to die.



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When you retire you switch bosses from the one who hired you to the one who married you.



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The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before your boss does.



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Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to.



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Retirement is when the living is easy and the payments are hard.



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A retired husband is often a wife's full time job.



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The worst thing about retirement is having to drink coffee on your own time.



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When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house you know you are retired.



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The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.



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I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work,So I do it three or four times a day



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A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.



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Retired is being twice tired, I've thought - First tired of working, Then tired of not.



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Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home forever."



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Retirement is that marvelous time of life when the sun rises and you don't.



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He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement.



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A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job -



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