Short Funny Quotes - Short Funny Love Life Quotes

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Short Funny Quotes

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

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I am at two with nature.

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Beware of the young doctor and the old barber

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All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

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Constipated People Don't Give A crap

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Trouble defies the law of gravity. It's easier to pick up than to drop.

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Nobody goes there anymore because it's too crowded.

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Foolproof systems don't take into account the ingenuity of fools.

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Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.

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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

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I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

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Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?

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Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.

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You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax, tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

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He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants.

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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

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Never have children, only grandchildren.

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Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.

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I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

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Ninety percent of the game is half mental.

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A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

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I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.

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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

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Faith: not wanting to know what is true.

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Cheese milk's leap toward immortality.

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Short Funny Quotes, really funny short quotes, short funny quotes phrases

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Short Funny Quotes - Short Funny Love Life Quotes

Short Funny Quotes

Short Funny Quotes, really funny short quotes, short funny quotes phrases

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