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I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.
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If you can not convince them, confuse them.
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A bachelor iz a selfish, undeserving guy who haz cheated some woman out of a divorce..
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Never insult an alligator until after u hav crossed da river...
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Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ...
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Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal.
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Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet
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Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.
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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
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He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough.
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Girls are like phones. We love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
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If it's sent by ship then it's a cargo, if it's sent by road then it's a shipment.
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There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
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It is better to b beautiful than to be good, bt it is better to be good than to be ugly.
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Dogs have Owners, Cats have Staff.
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I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works.
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Love is like a booger. U keep picking at it until u get it, then wonder wat 2 do with it.
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Women ll never b as successful as men becoz they have no wives 2 advise them.
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In America any boy may become President & I suppose its just one of the risks he takes.
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Money cant buy happiness bt it can certainly rent it 4 a couple of hours.
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Sex is nature, and I believe in going along with nature.
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A gentleman iz a man who can play da accordion bt doesn't.
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A conclusion iz da place where u got tired of thinking.
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A compromise iz an agreement whereby both partiez get wat neither of them wanted.
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Funny Movie Quotes - Funny Love Quotes
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