Funny Christmas Poems

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Funny Christmas Poems

It was January the 1st
I turned over a new leaf
It was clean on the top side
But had bugs underneath.

***************

May your success be as wide as celtel coverage and grow like Comium
May your enemies fall like the Leone
May you never struggle as Sierratel and NPA
May your enemies never understand themselves like Kabba
May the Glory of God never depart from you as corruption refuses to depart from Sierra Leone
May your enemies never locate you as the police can't find Jonny Paul.
Happy New Year!

***************

My Papa is such a swell guy.
he's the best 'round Christmas time.
He maybe strict at certain times,
but he loves Christmas so much.
Papa is not a scrooge, but.
a jolly man.
He loves many thing like,
baseball, bowling, and others, but.
most of all his family.

*****************

The merry family gatherings .
The old, the very young;

The strangely lovely way they.
Harmonize in carols sung.

For Christmas is tradition time.
Traditions that recall.

The precious memories down the years,
The sameness of them all.

*****************

What does Santa bring for daddies,
Too old to want a toy?

Wallets, watches, ties, and sweaters.
Don't make for much joy.

What do daddies want for Christmas,
Really, in their hearts?

So perfect that they'd shriek like kids.
Once the shredding starts?

*****************

It's Christmas time, and attention goes.
To the funny guy with his ho, ho, ho's.

Yes, we all know the reindeer story.
And hear the tales of Santa's glory.

But this will pass, and soon over town
The decorations will be coming down.

They'll be put away until next year.
When it's time again for Christmas Cheer.

So I am sticking with another old guy.
And I'm writing this to tell you why.

Old Santa's great one day, it's true,
But Grandpa's here the whole year through.

*****************

At this time of year it is patently clear.
That the males are the ones who are blest.
Thoughts like "goodwill to men" we hear time and again.
And we find them quite hard to digest.

As we women all know, men think they run the show.
And sometimes we allow them this pause.
But it gets on our nerves, like too many hors d'oeuvres.
When we want to get at the main course.

Many times out of mind the same problem we find.
Leaving plans to the menfolk is risky.
Christmas spirit they think is some kind of a drink.
Such as vodka, Baccardi, or whiskey.

*****************

I have been getting ready for Christmas.
I'm revving up for the great day.
my credit card's cracked and my freezer is packed.
Because I started my shopping in May.

The mistletoe's hanging in bunches.
. Because the odd Christmas kiss isn't wrong.
and the Vicar I've found - quite likes calling round.
and exploring my crowns with his tongue.

The bin men have gotten quite friendly.
They're after a present I fear.
They won't feel so chuffed when I tell them - get stuffed.
Because they don't speak the rest of the year.

*****************

At Xmas time when we were kids.
We were bloody poor.
And Santa weren't too generous.
When he knocked upon our door.

But we made do by saving up.
Yes every little bit.
"We may be poor" said dear old Dad.
"But I dont give a shit!".

Our Xmas tree stood tall & proud.
And rigid as a totem.
With Xmas baubles hangin' there.....
like testies in ya scrotum!.

Everyone loved Xmas dinner.
No if's, and's or but's.
And all us kids would piss ourselves.
When Grandpa dropped his guts.

*****************

I laugh a lot.
I can never stop.
That's just.
that;s who I am.
I can't go a day.
or even an hour.
without laughing.
or giggling.
My friends all.
know it.
But even if I've.
had the worst day.

*****************

Funny Christmas Poems

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