Really funny Poems - Short Really funny Poems

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Really funny Poems

There once was a man called McGong,
Who composed a peculiar song,
He sang it one day,
As he went on his way,
And then had a puff on his bong.

There once was a man with a bag,
Who's manboobs were starting to sag,
He smiled with a grin,
As a woman walked in,
And said "come �ere you old hag!".

*****************

As soon as Fred gets out of bed
His underwear goes on his head.

His mother laughs "Don't put it there,
A head's no place for underwear!"

But near his ears, above his brains,
Is where Fred's underwear remains.

At night when Fred goes back to bed,
He deftly plucks it off his head

His mother switches off the light
And softly croons,"Good night! Good night!"

And then, for reasons no one knows
Fred's underwear goes on his toes.

*****************

This world is painful, yes indeed;
Someone, anyone, hear my creed!

My heart breaks at the horrible pain;
I ask myself what's there to gain?

But then I will ask: why? why? why?
Then I remember the world lives a lie.

*****************

The age old question. what is love?
Isn't it the greatest gift from the holy one above
Is it pure and white like a newborn dove?

Does it cuddle you up like a hand in a glove?
What is love? A simple but hard question
What is love? I have a suggestion

*****************

The towns fool curtseid with a grin
And threw pie at the Queens face and chin.

She sentenced him to death
But instead made him her royal chef

*****************

I like to drink,
until my face turns pink.

because of what i drank,
my friends pulled a prank.

they said i was drinking beer,
what a fuken queer.

it was really juice,
make me look like a fool last night

***************

I feel so alone,
Texting on my phone.
I wish he would talk to me,
I think I might go crazy!
If I really was straight,
Then why is it girls that I hate?
I think I need counciling,
Did I mention why my wrist is in a sling?

***************

The sunrise from the west,
give us lights.
The lights overhead,
the sun shine.
Shine over our head,
make us tan.
Then burn us dead.

***************

Run chicken run.
The farmers got the gun.
The wife has the oven hot.
And your the one..
So run and run.
So you dont get served with a bun.

***************

I'm writing you this new love letter
and then I'll post it to your door
So you can understand my love much better
and see you're the one that I adore

*****************

I'm piddl'n and paus'n and paus'n and piddl'n
And then I'm a-paus'n once more
It's three in the morn'n, I'll be back before dawn'n
And I'll walk that cold lavat'ry floor

*****************

Who the hell you are I think.
I'm not under what they call
The alcofluence of incohol.

*****************

Eating a Big Mac and fries
Along came a spider and sat down beside her
Yuck, it said, 'I prefer flies'.

*****************

Your soul can ache
Your heart can break
Your confidence can shake
Your smile can be fake
But your life can never be a mistake.

*****************

Get out of bed you silly fool!
Get up right now, it's time for school.
If you don't dress without a fuss,
I'll throw you naked on the bus!

*****************

When I was in my younger days,
I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn't hold my tummy in
To wear a belted dress.
But now that I am older,
I've set my body free
There's comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.

*****************

He came, he saw, he trashed my room,
He pushed, he shoved, he broke a broom!
He sniffed, he snarled, I stood stock still,
He biffed, he bashed, my drink did spill!
He mumbled, he grumbled, he kicked my door,
He grunted, he groaned, he stamped on the floor!
He's evil, he's mean, but I like him this way,
It's funny when my cousin Fred comes to stay!

*****************

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