Hilarious poems, short hilarious christmas poem, hilarious valentines day poems, hilarious mothers day poems, funny hilarious love poem

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Hilarious Poems

The bank account is empty
The credit card is full
By any definition
I�m sort of in a hole
To simplify my lifestyle
Is what I need to do
I think I�ll start by throwing out
All bills now overdue.

***************

There was once a child from Beijing,
Who wouldn�t eat anything!
But when they switched on the telly,
He happily filled his belly,
With his eyeballs out and popping!

***************

I dream of winning the lottery.
of winning the jackpot.
of all the things i could afford.
at present i could not.
a flashy car.
a great big house.
the holiday of my life.
& wen i,m the other side of the world.
only then i would tell the wife.

*******************

A back seat.
driver can u be.
one wen the.
controls are.
up front long extremities.
may help or big mouth.

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Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Mst poems rhyme...
bt dis one doesn't!!!

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Ugh! How gross!
U certainly disgust.
me the most.
wen u stick ur h&.
in the back of ur pants.
how my mind reels,
like the turning of.
a puking wheel.
I can't wait.
for the day.
I get out.
of tu clase.

*******************

Lolliypop, chocolate top, candy all around.
Wait until the candy is all found.
Come come all my frnds
wait until the party ends.

*************

The aliens have landed!
It's distressing, but they're here.
They piloted their flying saucer
through our atmosphere.
They landed like a meteor
engulfed in smoke & flame.
Then out they climbed immersed
in slime
& burbled as they came.

*************

My head is pounding
I have no rest
& so I delve in2
The medicine chest I grab a big bottle
For delays I'm in no mood

*************

There are no stupid questions
Speakers like 2 say
Wen they know full well dat people ask
Stupid questions every day

*************

The bank account is empty
The credit card is full
By any definition
I'm sort of in a hole
2 simplify my lifestyle
Is what I need 2 do
I think I'll start by throwing out
All bills nw overdue.

*************

Every dieter knows the plateau
Where the scale will not budge even though
U have passed up the treat
Of a drink or a sweet
But ur weight loss is more stop & go
Eat ur breakfast as if u were king
Eat ur lunch like a prince Everything
Dat nutritionists say
At the end of the day
U should dine like u lived on a string

*************

Were u close? Im asked' as if grief
Would sting less deeply were we friends
As well as son & father Further apart
Two men could never meet' though blood bends
Through arteries' veins & capillaries
Summoned in2 Presence by his pleasure
Oh dat I could have grown more slowly
Remember being held' & cradled like treasure

*************

I m the family face
Flesh perishes, I live on
Projecting trait & trace
Through time 2 times anon
& leaping from place 2 place
Over oblivion

*************

U love the roses so do I. I wish
They sky would rain down roses' as they rain
From off the shaken bush.Y will it not
Then all the valley would be pink & white
& soft 2 tread on. They would fall as light
As feathers, smelling sweet' & it would be
Like sleeping & like waking' all at once

*************

I wish them cramps
i wish them a strange town
& the last tampon
I wish them no 7-11
i wish them one week early
& wearing a white skirt
i wish them one week late

*************

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