Hindi Jokes Sms

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Hindi Jokes Sms

Aaj subah bhagwan ne
‘Dabang’ dekhi aur mood me aa ke kaha
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Aaj aisa Mousam Banayenge ki confuse ho jaoge ki sweater pehne ya raincoat…!!
Hud hud dabang dabang dabang..




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Sardarni : Lo light chali gayi.
Sardar : Light chali gayi hai to fan chala do.
Sardarni :Lo fir se kar di na sardaro wali baat. Agar fan chalaunga to mombatti bujh nahi jayegi!




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Ek Ladke Ne Ek Ladki Ko Kamal Ka Phul Diya
Ladki Ne Usko Ek Thappad Mar Diya,
Ladka Bola Me To BJP Ka Parchar Kar Raha Hu,
Ladki Boli Me Bhi Congress Ka Parchar Kar Rahi Hu.




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Teacher-papu Ek Story Sunao Withmoral :-)
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Papu-maine Usko Phone Kiya Wo So Rahi Thi.
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Phir Usne Mujhe Phone Kiya Main So Raha Tha.
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Moral- Jaisi Karni Wsi Bharni.




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Sardar: Oye tu har message Do dafa q karta hay?
2nd Sardar: Taa k tu aik Forward kar de to doosra tere pas rahay!




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2 boys with Sardar where going on a Motor cycle.
Policeman gives hand to stop.
Sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega…!




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Pappu Nd Santa In A Football Stadium..
Pappu - : Paji,
Ye Log Ball Se Kya Kr Rhe Hai?
Santa : Goal Kr Rhe Hain!!!

Pappu - :"Lekin Paji,
Ball To Pehle Se Gol Hai ,
Or Kitni Gol Krenge?"




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Wo Shirt Badi Nirali Thi...

Jo Tumne Apne Dost Ki Shaadi Me Nikali Thi...

Tum Par Mar Miti Thi Wo Ladki...

Jo Poori Barat Me Sabse"KALI"Thi




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Maine tujhe dekha
Dekhta raha, Dekhta hi gaya
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya




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1PagaL Aaina Dekh K Sochne Laga
Esko Kahi Dekha H
Thodi Der Sochne K Baad

"O Teri " Ye To Wohi H
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Jo Mere Sath Us din BaaL Ktwa Raha Tha




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Sweet insult!!
Ek ladka gadhe ke samne gir gaya.
Ek khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha apne bade bhai ka pair chhu rahe ho kya?
Ladka : ji bhabhiji.




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Sardar: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Rikshawala: 50
Sardar: 20 lelo
Riksha: 20 main kon le k jaayeega?
Sardar: tum piche bheto hum leke jaayega




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Khud ko karo kanjoos itna,
ki har sms bhejne se pahle,
service center wale call kr ke khud puchhe..

Sir ji
Ru sure?
bhejna hai,
ki sending fail kr du?




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Achcha dost zindgi ko jannat bnata hai.

Islye Meri qadar kia karo
Warna fir kehte firoge.!!

Bahti hawa sa tha wo
Yar hmara tha wo
Kaha gaya use dhundo.




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Light jane k baad candle leke pappu toilet ja rahatha
kai kambakhat phook marke keh gaya
Happy birthday 2 u

Batao yaar Emergency ke wqt bhi mazak




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Jab Koi Sms Ni Krta.
Itna Gussa Ata H.
Dil To Chahta H,
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Chapal Utar K
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Aram Se Baith Jau Or
Sochu Sayad Bhejna Nhi Ata Hoga.




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Judge – You are crossing the limits.
Lawyer – Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
Judge – How dare you call me saala?
Lawyer – My Lord, I said kaun ‘Sa Law' kehta hai?




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Wo aaj bhi sardi me tithur rahi hai doston..

Mene ek bar us se bas itna kaha tha k
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Sweater k bina Katrina Kaif lagti ho.




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The awkward moment when your mom says.!
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Haye mera shareef bacha




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Tufani barish main raat ko pizza hot pe 1 Ladka pizza laine Gaya
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Waiter: Do you have any gf? .
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Ladka: saley hor es tufani barishmain konsi MAA apne bachy ko pizza laine bheje gi...??




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Classic Insult !!

Lecture Was Going On..

Suddenly A Boy Went Out Of The Class.

Lecturer : Ye Bahar Kyn Chala Gaya?
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His Friend : Sir Usko Neend Mein Chalne Ki Aadat Hai




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3boys , 3types of proposal for1 girl .......

1st- Main tumhare liye apni jaan de sakta hoon.
Girl- Wo to sabhi kehte hai.

2nd- Main tumhare liye Chand Tare tod kar la sakta hoon.
Girl- Bahut purana dialogue hai.

3rd- Main tumhare liye apnafacebook a/c delete kr sakta
hu...
Girl-
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(Aankhon me aansu k sath) aww.....I will marry u..!




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Boy 2 Girl:Tumhari Umar kya hai?
Girl:20 years
Boy: tm ny to 5 saal pehly bhi yahi batayi thi?
Girl: daikha ladkiyan zubaan ki kitni pakki hoti hain..




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1 chua sharab k drum me gira.
Bahar nikal k mast ho kar soyi hui billi k muh pe kiss ke bola.
.

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uth munni

aaj ye chulbul tera Dance dekhny aya hai.




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ladki:ladka kaisa hai.
PANDIT:ladka acha hai,engineering kiya hai..
dikhny main film ka HERO lgta hai.
LADKI:kun si film ka hero lgta hai.PANDIT:PIPLI LIVE




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Dil ka dard dil thodny wala kya jaany.
Pyaar ki rizvon ko zamana kya jaany.

Hoti hai kitni takleef ladki patany main.
Ye ghar py baitha ladki ka baap kya jaany.




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Musam shabab ka.
Nasha sharab ka.
Pardha janab ka.
Aur rang gulab ka.
In main sabsy haseen to daikho.
SMS parhny wala Mendak talab ka.




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Congrats, U have been awarded.
An M.B.A digree.
4 not Smsing me..
MBA means Member of Bhikari Association'.
Kindly forward it 2 all M.B.A's.




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Aik ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si
Nazrain jhuka k sharma k galion se guzra karti thi

latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi
Bartan Ly lo Bartan




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Vo aaj bhi humy daikh kar muskurate hain
Vo aaj bhi humy daikh kar muskurate hain

Yeh to unky bachche hee kaminy hain
Jo Mama Mama keh k bulaaty hain.




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Tm hasty raho, nachty raho,
muskuraty raho, sada khil khilaty raho,

khush raho aur gungunaty raho, mera kya hai,
log tumhy hi pagal samzhenge....




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Man iz a head of da family,
woman is a neck of da family,
kyn k gardan jahan chahy head ko kahin bhi ghuma sakti hai.




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Bihar ki gali main paan ki dukan
Devdas ny daikhi paro ki muskan

Devdas ny khilaya paro ko paan
Khake paan paro boli shukriya bhai jaan.




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Mohabbat 1 bar ho jye us ko bholapan kahty hain,
2 bar ho jaye us ko dewaanapan kahty hain
3 bar hoo jaye us ko pagalpan kahty hain
agar phir bhi na rukhay to use kamena pan kahty ha




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BOY:-Tu sohni tera roop sohna pr tu sohni ni kaha sakdi
sohni tn dariya paar karky aa gayi c, pr tu period miss karky ni aa sakdi.

LADKI:-Main sohni mera roop sohna main sohni v kaha sakdi
aik tere kally layi main class de 25 ranjhy chad k ni aa sakdi.




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Wife : Darling kuch Saal Pehly Mera Figure COKE Bottle jesa Tha
Husband gusse sy bola : Figure To Aaj B Coke jesa hi ha.
Pehly Reguler Bottle thi ab jumbo pack hai.




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Wife shopping kr k wapas aayi
To husband wife sy samaan laaty hoe bola

Zaror Tm Mery Khany K Lye Kch Lai Hogi?
Wife : Bilkul theek kaha, esmy mere new sandal hain!




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Husband to Wife : Main shaadi se pehly 20 auraton k saath so chuka hoon.
Wife : Mjhy pata tha ki jab kundli mili hai to aadatain bhi zarur milti hogi.




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Sardar talking on cell.
2nd Sardar : Kis sy baat kar raho ho.
1st Sardar : Biwi sy

2nd Sardar : Itny Pyaar sy?
1st Sardar : Tmhari hai na




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Aik aadmi ny aik gawar naukar rakh liya aur ussy samjhaya k
kisi k naam lene sy pahle JEE laga diya kary.

Thori der baad naukar bhagta hua aya aur bola
Sahebje, sahebje kuttyje ne murgije ko pakar liya ha




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Santa: Ghar ka saara kimti samaan chhupa k rakh do, mery dost aa rahy hain.
Jeeto: Kyn! Apky dost chura langy?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan langy.




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Mayawati came 2 Lalu's house wid a goat
Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyn lai ho?

Maya : Dikhta nahi, goatwa hai.
Lalu : Hm goatwa sy hi puch raha hu..




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A Sardarji went 2 toilet 10 times within half an hour.
Somebody asked,"Sardar ji apko chain nahi hai kya?"
Sardar : Ha to sahi, par khul nahin rahi!




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Santa ki shaadi aik nurse sy ho gai.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mt yaar, jb tk sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.




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