Christmas Pranks

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Christmas Pranks

Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
So, he can ho,ho,ho.




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Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
Bcoz of all the wrapping!




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The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts
only as are injurious to others.
But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there.




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In this X-mas,
In the daytime if sun shine so shall Ur
expectations come true,
At night when moon comes out so shall U receive
blesses,
then if rain fall so shall it going to carry all
your problem away from U!
Happy Merry Christmas





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Your as big boned as father christmas claus,
your as stupid as a donkey,
your as shit in bed as a camal,
but your still the right person for me!




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But it is for grownups too. Even if it is a headache
a chore, and nightmare, it is a period of necessary
defrosting of chill and hide-bound hearts.




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Christmas waves a
magic wand over this world,
and behold,
everything is softer and more beautiful.




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I am dreaming of white Christmas,
with every christmas card i write,
May your days be merry and bright,
and May all your christmases be white.
Happy Christmas




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Two things upon this changing earth
can neither change nor end;
the splendor of Christ's humble birth,
the love of friend for friend.




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I wish U Lovely X-mas
I wish U Favorable
I wish U Enjoyable
U shall not Lack in this X-mas
thy Lord shall provide to U!
Merry X-Mas.




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You are special, you are unique; may your Christmas be also as special and unique as you are! Merry Christmas!




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Why doesn't Santa have any children ?Because he only comes once a year,
and when he does, it's down the chimney.




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Why did the snowman have a smile on his face ?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.




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What do the female reindeer do when Santa takes the male reindeer
out on Christmas Eve ?They go into town, and blow a few bucks





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How are a Christmas tree and a priest alike ?
They both have ornamental balls.




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What does Father Christmas write on his
Christmas cards?A ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ (No-L!!)!




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What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?Cross mouse cards!




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Dear Santa,
if you make your toys then why do they say
"Made in China."
Sincerely,
a confused child




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Question: What type of pine has the sharpest needles?
Answer: A porcupine.




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Question: What's red and white and gives presents to good little fish on Christmas?
Answer: Sandy Claws.




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What's the best thing to put into Christmas dinner?
Your teeth!




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Question: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
Answer: Ribbon hood.




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Your ass big boned as father christmas claus,
Your ass stupid as a donkey,
Your ass shit in bed as a camal,
But ur still the right person 4 me!




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No wonder father christmas is so jolly,
coz he knows where all the bad girls live!




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Maria went to the Post Office to buy stamps 4 her Christmas cards.
What denomination?' asked the clerk. 'Oh! Good heavens! Have we come to this?

Said Maria, 'Well give me 50 Methodist & 50 Church of England ones please.




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Saint Nicholas is the main Clause
His wife is a relative Clause
His children are dependent Clauses
Their Dutch uncle iz a restrictive Clause
Santa's elves are subordinate Clauses




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May all the sweet magic Of Christmas conspire
To gladden ur hearts & fill every desire.




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a silent nite,
a star above,
a blessed gift of hope & love.
A blessed Christmas 2 u.




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Nevr worry abt da size of your Christmas tree.
In the eyez of children, they r all 30 feet tall




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if one night you wake up & a big fat male is
trying to put u in a sack please don't be afraid bcoz
i told santa all i want for christmas is u




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Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?
Bcoz a little water
ends both of them.




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Q. What happened when the snowwoman got angry at the snowman?
A. She gave him the cold shoulder.




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What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.




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Christmas may bi many things
or it may bi a few
For you, the joy
is each new toy
for me
It's watching u.




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How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
U wake up wet !




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What did the bald man say when he got a comb 4 Christmas ?
Thanks, I'll never part with it




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Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus




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